Balance VS Motion
When you move and start a new job and expect everything to change right away! That’s how impatient I am… But this is how I have always been, and now that I am 30 I just accept it for what it is. No use trying to change that too. Regardless of how my personality is most of the time I have had quick results with the “stuff” I put 100% into and the “stuff” that I 100% believe in or understand the meaning or the “why’s” about it. In other words I like to put effort into the “stuff” that really matters to me or makes sense to me. I will not put any effort into something I feel is a waste of time or the stuff that my gut doesn’t feel is a good idea. This is easier said then done!
But the thought that not everyone thinks this way was brought to my attention a few times while working as a holistic nutritionist. Most well like 90% of my clients who worked with me 1:1 had a very different personality types them my self. ( I want to make this clear that I do NOT think my personality type is the best or for that matter remotely the easiest to succeed in life) It just never occurred to me that people don’t listen to their gut, they have no idea what intuition is or feels like, and they only do things to make others happy, they don’t want to know all the answers. They don’t have a lot of questions and they just want to be told what to do and when and they need accountability.
You might not know this by knowing your Why’s was a big part in who I am to the core.. So much so that an astrologer I saw back in 2007 mentioned it to me. ” I like to know all the Why’s about life” This couldn’t be more true! It was something I always knew but didn’t put into words.
So I created a mobile wellness company called Why’s Wisdom … Because I felt that understanding WHY you were doing “that thing” will help you stay focused when you feel like your “falling off”. Regardless of that explanation people didn’t get the name and I changed it to Nourished by Regan.
So back to the people:
Most of the time they just wanted a plan, and accountability. Then I founds Gretchen Rubin’s work and it all clicked!! According to Gretchen there are Four Personality Tendencies. These personalities are put into categories using her online quiz. The personality type helps you understand how you deal with inner and outer expectations.
This is exactly what I was dealing with….. Why are most of my clients the types to seek help, need to be told what to do and rarely meet inner expectations. And What if I get someone who is like me a Questioner and wants to know everything first! So they can make a choice based on the information they have…. I feel really grateful that I found her work and it has helped me out in so many ways.
So knowing your self and your tendency can really help you understand how to live in motion and not strive for balance. Right!
That’s what I was getting at.. by sharing that with you.
So about moving and starting a new job…
For a long time I did what I thought I “should be doing”, most was influenced by the people I spent time with, how I grew up, and my negative or positive belief patterns that were subconsciously ingrained in my brain. I mean what we choose to do with our lives is completely up to the person living said life… But does it turn out that way …? I don’t think so. No matter who you are if you are human I am sure you have made choices which were influenced by MANY other factors other then your intuition. Or you chose to do things with the thought of striving for BALANCE right. Because that’s how healthy people do it right !
I want to make my self very clear here that everyone’s life is different, and I personally don’t think that there is one right or wrong way to grow up or live, spend your money, or get the “perfect job” etc. Ideally I think a life of love and joy is one that you feel the most cozy in, without settling for less. One that pushes you to be uncomfortable at times but brings you joy and peace also. A life where we can strive for NOT BALANCE but Flow… I think we should just say F@*&K you balance life is Flow.
This idea has always been swirling around in my brain but this meditation I listened to the other day says it so well. I started to talk to people about this thought.. that instead of striving for balance we could instead be happy with MOTION and FLOW.
“I want to be more balanced” is something I hear my clients request often. This week’s Meditation Minis Podcast gently guides you to finding a state of balance for yourself that is based in the motion of life rather than a static point. – Chel Hamilton Creator of Meditation Minis
I did not come from a family who told me what I “should” be doing, and I didn’t come from a family of rich parents that wanted me to follow in their foot steps. I do realize there are many other situations out, there but when it comes to people feeling FORCED or pushed into a life they don’t actually want, that is the most stereotypical family I can think of. That being said, the life I chose has changed a lot over the past 30 years. Most of the choices I made were small and I forgot to push my self into things that scared me. I think that I grew up very naive and though that life was a struggle and working was exhausting and money came and went.
Then in my adult life most of the time I felt anxiety like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. This started over the past 3 years… My body literally broke down, and I am still building it back up. But what I have learned were some warning signs I get when I am not living my life to the fullest.. Or thriving or joyful or rich or what ever word you choose to put in here. For the past year my fiance and I have been making plans to move to Victoria BC and leave our life in Calgary AB. We had many reasons to want to live on the island and my gut was telling me that it was the right choice. Even if it was scary and new and exciting and terrifying. Then about 6 months prior to moving while working my mobile massage and nutrition business in Calgary. I started to get panic attacks, they would usually come while driving to a clients house any time during the day. Or for those who came to my home office just as I knew they were on their way to my house. My anxiety felt like a panic feeling, I would get really hot, I would start to sweat and feel a vibration deep into my body like a pushing me away feeling. Like I needed to just leave the situation… Like what I was about to do was not serving me anymore and I needed to leave. But of course I was stuck, I needed to make money to live, this was my job for the past 10 years. I felt so angry and upset that I didn’t like my job anymore. I mean who the hell want’s an angry massage therapist! NO ONE. And I truly think that is why my business slowed down, call it the universe or call it vibration, or god, or fate, or blame it on the economy or my skill as an RMT. What ever it was my work slowed down so each client became more about money then the experience of helping someone.
My money slowed, my work slowed and my gut told me to make changes now! My anxiety got worse and I shut out life. I turned into a hermit and I was stressed out! I stopped exercising I was depressed and my life was no longer bringing me joy and purpose. Two things I thrive on!
So we packed our house up, we got new jobs and moved away. I am still impatient, that will never change. But I feel at ease… My anxiety is gone! I don’t feel that hot vibration pulsing its way deep into my bones. I don’t feel confused. I feel excited and scared but the scared part is just because of the new and exciting things I get to do.
I said good by to striving for balance and accepted the flow. I went from just existing in a static position to a motion of joy and purpose and newness.