Self Care Sunday…. When you manifest the wrong thing!

i need a new job

 

A few weeks ago I posted about manifesting my dream job, and moving to Victoria BC with my Fiance. Where we will be happier, healthier and making the income we know we want and need to save for our wedding. So that being said I am here to announce something…. I think I manifested the WRONG JOB! Here is why I think that.

You know that feeling in your “gut” aka your intuition? I am going to assume you have an idea of what that is and where you feel it in your body. Most of the time ( from what I have experienced and seen in others ) we don’t always listen to our intuition. Most of the time we listen to our “thoughts” our logical, practical, stressful overthinking thoughts. So even though my brain is like YES TAKE THAT JOB! It’s perfect its exactly what you wanted and you manifested the shit out of it. Wowza this manifesting thing really works.

So weeks go past post signing my contract with “said job” I was scheduled to do training for it at the end of last month and then I would start around the 23rd of October. This timing was perfect since we were moving to Vic Oct 14th. It gives me a few days to get organized before I embarked this new amazing job I manifested.

Now the issue was the entire time I went over the pro’s and con’s of the job, it checked off of all of this

  1. Make 4000 per month take home after taxes
  2. Work from Home Mon – Thur and have every weekend off
  3. Learn new skills and do a role I am new at but using my background as a holistic Nutritionist and massage therapist as an asset.
  4. Have a set steady income
  5. Have the income I need to pay off credit card debt, save for my wedding and have money left over for extra things.
  6. Date Jesse out on dates more and pay the bill with my disposible income
  7. Work for a company making a bigger impact on the world while helping others with their health and wellness.
  8. Work for a company that has a product or program in place proven that WORKS that is backed by science and I am hired onto facilitate it.
  9. I am given clients, or participants I work from home, and I do not need to do any advertising or finding prospects.

Ok that stuff all check off! It was amazing I was so excited when I got hired on. All I had to do now was do the rest of my training for it and kick as at that position and be the best health coach. I set up a spread sheet with my expenses and predicted monthly set income. I was so fucking excited with my numbers I had about 400 EXTRA income per month to do what ever the fuck I wanted with. I would have at least 5000 – 6000 saved up for my wedding and I would have my credit card paid off in 5 months.

Now for the shitty part.

The part when you gut tells you something is not right and this might not be the best or “dream job” for me. About two weeks ago just before my training was about to begin I was called by the lady who had hired me. She said she was very sorry but they had an issue with the start date for me and the position I was told I was hired on for was no longer available.

WHAT THE FUCK!

What she also said was because they were a start up company ( in business for 1.5 years now) that hey had accidentally over hired health coaches and they didn’t have enough participants for all the coaches. And that all the participants are getting set up with the health coaches with more sonority who have worked for the company for 1 year now. And I will be next on the list.

So I kept it super professional, I kept my cool and I politely asked when they predicted they would have enough participants for me to start. She said “early next year”. Since I was moving October 14th and needed a job as soon as I got there I suggested to contact me when they needed me but I couldn’t promise anything. I will look or full time work somewhere else and I don’t know where I will be and if I would want to change. But I was still interested in the position so to please keep my updated.

So that being said I HAVE NO JOB… I am moving in less then two weeks I have credit card debt to pay off a wedding to save for and I am looking for a real change of pace.

But the part that is very interesting to me in all of this is that my gut told me something was “off” at first I thought that it was just nerves since this role is something very new to me and I was excited. Then I thought maybe its a feeling of insecurity that I did not deserve this and who am I to manifest my dream job. Life is hard and I struggle that is how its always been, I was nervous and putting lost of pressure on this job to help change that all for me.

But in reality there were some red flags… My first two phone interviews were missed because of scheduling issues. Then I signed a contract but it was a US one ( since its a US company and I was one of the few Canadians to join the team and work from Canada) I asked it I could have a Canadian contract with the updated hourly rate and GST charge details that we discussed. They said it didn’t matter. Then they moved the training dates to a later date. ( Which actually worked out better for me so I wasn’t to worried) Then the few days leading up to the training I didn’t hear back from them. It was crickets with the admin people and the thought that morning as I drove to work was “OMG what if I don’t actually have this job”? Then I got the call that evening.

The kicker is my intuition was right… But it wasn’t just right about the job security issue. It was also right that although this job checked off all the boxes I wanted in a job, it missed one very important thing.

Did I believe in the program? Did I truly get the science and was it something I felt 100% confident about coaching people on? Did I believe in the stuff I was going to be facilitating?

THE ANSWER IS NO!

Why you ask? Well lets just say I am a Holistic Nutritionist and I believe in using REAL WHOLE FOODS and supplementing when needed. The program I would be facilitating is backed on OLD SCIENCE science that has been debunked for a while now. Like “egg yolks give you heart disease and high cholesterol” ” Low fat is best” “just move more and eat less calories” “a calorie is a calorie is a calorie”

It didn’t talk about QUALITY OF FOOD. They used the American Food Guide as a template and old science. Now don’t get me wrong this program did help ( the main goal was reducing the affects of pre diabetes.. It was a diabetes prevention program) Something I know is very important and I am totally into. Helping the general public get educated on how to move more, eat more fiber, reduce stress and eat healthier to reverse symptoms and health issues associated with blood sugar issues and pre diabetes) The issue was that the food portion of it was completely bizarre it was just old science. Yes it had science but we have since then found out that their are other ways to get your arteries healthy and you can eat egg yolks. Also that low fat salad dressings and dairy products are not the best choices. Because of the canola and other seeds oils used to make them, and that they have more salt or sugar.

So my gut was telling me that this isn’t something I can get behind. But my logical and realistic brain was telling me that it checked off all the boxes and it was perfect.

Then when they called me to say I actually didn’t have the job right away. And that it might be 4 to 6 months until I could start working I was torn. I had to find a new job… Stat!

So I applied to about 10 Jobs – one I totally messed up on and I know I will not be getting a call from that one. Because I copied pasted my cover letter and resume and forgot to change a few things. So it didn’t look professional and it totally showed that I was in fact asking for different job. OOPS!

( Don’t tell me you have never done that before!)

So since then I have had two calls back one with a company called the Neurological Wellness Association, and another for An account manager with ATP Athletic Therapeutic Pharma. I am waiting to hear back from them with questions I have, and once I am finished by phone interview with ATP I will choose which one I want.

I now know that I HAVE OPTIONS which is wonderful and also stressful. And I am going to use my intuition to help me choose the right fit for me. I will write out all the facts of the job and position etc for both and use my brain to logically go though all of it. But in the end my “gut” will make the choice.

Wish me luck!

 

 

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