Self Care Sunday…. What do you really want?

Making changes to allow you to love your job


This week I am going to focus more on your work!… And how your job, or your current working environment may be causing you to feel unhappy, lack joy, or even cause persistent body pain.

This is something I am currently dealing with right now ( pretty much over the past year really) my work and environment has caused me to feel literally sick to my stomach, caused panic and anxiety attacks, and a feeling of complete and utter frustration. The stuff I am going to share about today is something I have wanted to talk about for a while now, but while I was going through it all it was just too raw to talk about. I also don’t want my clients, and amazing women I have had the pleasure of working with at Bedrock CrossFit to feel bad or mad about my thoughts. I certainly don’t want this blog to turn into a bitch fest. I want it to be a place where I can be 100% honest about shitty life stuff but also provide encouragement to those dealing with similar issues, so you can make the changes needed to live a really nourished life inside and out.

Part of me thought for a long time that I should be happy with my “job” and the “environment” I have created for my self. I forced my self to go to work each day and feel happy. But I kept feeling like something was missing, and something really big was going to happen and that I shouldn’t settle for less. And as I sit here at my workplace ( one of them ) typing this blog post. I can’t help but think that I am so pumped for my new changes that will happen soon. Then I suddenly feel shame, guilt and sadness that I am not getting that feeling from my current working situation.

Think in the third person

What has helped me with this is to think in the third person… If a friend of mine was saying this to me I would most likely say something like ” It’s ok that you are not feeling joy and happiness at your current work, even though they are amazing people and on paper it sounds exactly what you want and need. But in reality your not happy.. And you shouldn’t try to force it”

Then I would attempt to quote Jen Sincero Best Selling Author of You are a Badass and You are a Badass at Making Money. She always has gold nuggets like these:

“Change your Mind Change your Life”

“The number one thing that holds people back is resisting change”

“Temporary failure becomes permanent defeat only when you say so”

And…. One of my favorites:

“Overwhelm: When you make the unhelpful decision to stop breathing, lose perspective, and forget you’re in control of your life.

So now that a few amazing opportunities have come up, and my “job” and “environment” is going to be changing dramatically in the next few months ( a secret that I am going to share with you in a couple months ) . I finally feel a weight lifted from me! I know that these new changes to my environment I have made are going to be scary, and cause MORE different stress and anxiety. But that being said it’s also a way that I can bring more joy and consistency into my life. Something I have been missing for some time now.

Be open and allow the universe to do it’s thang

In order for this to happen, I needed a little nudge from my fiance Jesse, who put the bug in my ear for an opportunity to make some changes to our environment sooner then we had anticipated. It also took me an entire day of panic attacks and a couple weeks of shitty sleeps… Thinking about these new and exciting and scary things that could be mine if I really wanted them to be. Here it was I had the opportunity I was looking for all along, but as soon as I would feel happy and excited reality would set in that I now had to talk to all my clients and my current boss and tell them what’s up. This scared the shit out of me! I was upset and ashamed that I wasn’t getting enough fulfillment anymore with my Mobile Massage Business and my Nutrition Practice.

But first get really clear on what you want

I was specifically looking to collaborate with a company that had a system in place already, specifically a nutrition based company. Where I could come in and facilitate their program. Either as a contractor or an employee.. I was open the options. I also wanted to work from home I wanted to be able to set my own hours and make a steady income. An income I can rely on that I knew I was going to make X amount of money every month so I could budget and pay for our Wedding which will happen September 1st 2018. I also wanted to work Monday to Thursday 40 hours per week and make 4000-5000 per month. Extra income I wanted to come from BeautyCounter that I would do on Friday’s and some Weekends ( specifically markets, pop up shop’s and events )

Or I would work part time as a nutrition coach facilitating a program that works and is backed by science. It would be online, and remote only. 20 Hours per week Tue and Thursday ( 2 x 10 hour days ) Then Monday and Wednesday I would work part time for JUSU Bar a healthy juice company that I love!. Ideally the Juice production position, so I would work really early and leave early! That way I would have time to work out after, blog, and run my ecommers business with BeautyCounter. I would have time to make one day per week for a coaching calls with my BeautyCounter Consultants and time to do events.

You can’t do anything if you try to do everything


I would ride my bike or walk everywhere, everything would be close to home. I would slow down, and have time to do all the things that brought me joy but most importantly remember I did them!

But what I REALLY REALLY REALLY dreamed of is to one day some how in my wildest dreams live somewhere cheaper, with less monthly costs per month for rent and bills. I wanted to down size, clean out my clutter, donate, sell and get rid of all the THINGS that were no longer serving me. I wanted only things that brought me joy, pleasure and allowed me to be purposefully consistent. I wanted to have a different environment, a different schedule and different expectations. I wanted to get clear on my daily tasks, and I want to be a fearless money making machine, because money is the root to so much awesome.

When it comes to changing your life if you are not scared you are doing something wrong


So I decided to be scared and use my fear as my compass. I decided to be open to the opportunity of changing up my work space, job and environment so I could feel the joy I knew was coming my way.

In September I will share about my changes that are coming and where it takes me! 


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